This has to stop. The man was sad, creepy and weird, and that he cut up his own face.
I liked the guy. He was a talented performer, a great dancer, and a consumate entertainer. I hope he's in a better place now.
But why did he do that to his own face?
Here is the BEFORE photo, what he USED to look like:
He was a good looking guy. A normal, average-looking dude with some sex appeal and a wicked-awesome afro that white guys like me can only envy.
There is absolutely nothing wrong with the face in the above photo. MJ looks great. He could go his whole life looking like that and everyone would love him.
Instead, he chose to become this AFTER photo:
He was hideous. I cannot look at his mutilated face without wanting to vomit. It is utterly horrific, what he did to his face.
And he did it on purpose.
The man cut up his face.
I don't care what excuses anyone serves up to explain this away. "He never had a normal childhood." Waa. "He had 'Daddy issues.'" Boo hoo.
It does not change the horrific fact that he
Cut.
Up.
His.
Face.
Let's not kid ourselves. He is not an "icon." He is sad, creepy and weird.
The fact that Jesse Jackson Al Sharpton are boostering a man who so obviously wanted to disown his Black heritage is beyond parody. Everything about MJ's funeral is beyond parody. You couldn't make fun of it if you tried.
And, believe me, I've tried.
But Michael Jackson is dead now, and he should be left to lie in peace. Remember him, if you will, as he was before he lost control. Or else, remember him as a cautionary tale of what you do not want to become when fame threatens to eat your soul alive. But do not remember him as an icon. He certainly was not that.
If you absolutely need a fallen hero to worship, there are plenty of normal ones to go around.
My dad was born on the same day as Abraham Lincoln. My sister was born on the same day as Hitler. They always made fun of me when I was growing up because I didn't share my birthday with anyone famous like Lincoln or Hitler.
I finally Googled today's date to see who had been born on this day. Here's what I found:
Jaromir Jagr: hockey player for the New York Rangers
Chris Farley: fat man in a little coat
Matt Groening: cartoonist, creator of The Simpsons and Futurama
A friend and I once had the idea of revisiting a Jane Austen novel, adding shootout scenes and car chases and retitling it "Stone Cold" Jane Austen's Sense and Senseless Violence. Unfortunately, it seems we have been beaten to the punch.
Pride and Prejudice and Zombies features the original text of Jane Austen's beloved novel with all-new scenes of bone-crunching zombie action. As our story opens, a mysterious plague has fallen upon the quiet English village of Meryton—and the dead are returning to life! Feisty heroine Elizabeth Bennet is determined to wipe out the zombie menace, but she's soon distracted by the arrival of the haughty and arrogant Mr. Darcy. What ensues is a delightful comedy of manners with plenty of civilized sparring between the two young lovers—and even more violent sparring on the blood-soaked battlefield as Elizabeth wages war against hordes of flesh-eating undead.
Part of me wants to weep because me and my friend will never get to write Sense and Senseless Violence without being called copycats.
But the other part of me wants to shout for joy because in about two and a half months, I'll be reading Pride and Prejudice and Zombies.
What is it with Eastern European thieves? Two months ago I linked to a story about thieves stealing an entire beach from the nation of Hungary.
Now it's the Czech republic's turn to get ripped off. Thieves made away with a four ton railway bridge. Key Quote:
The company which was responsible for looking after the bridge raised the alarm when, ever alert, they noticed that the bridge wasn't there any more.
Is this as weird as stealing an entire beach from a landlocked country? Perhaps not. Stealing bridges is apparantly not all that unusual in this part of the world:
Of course, it's not the first time some light-fingered bridge enthusiast has made off with a bridge. At least two bridges have been nicked in Russia in the past six months, and a pair of bridge thieves appropriated two Macedonian bridges last February.
A spokeswoman for the Czech policewas quoted to say, "We are not sure if it (the bridge) was taken for personal use or for its scrap value."
Super Tuesday was yesterday, and I suppose I should blog about that, but I can't say I care much. A couple jackasses are the front runners now, while two or three other jackasses are no longer frontrunners. Unless they are. Or aren't. Maybe.
There. That's my analysis of Super Tuesday.
Now on to news I can really get excited about: Willie Nelson on the Alex Jones Radio Show last Monday!
I first heard this on Hot Air. Here's the YouTube version:
It's pretty long, so if you don't have time to watch the whole thing, skip ahead to about 1:45 minutes into the thing (-8:05 if your YouTube clock runs down instead of up) for the fun stuff.
At around 1:55 (-7:55), Willie compares the collapse of the Twin Towers to a building demolition he saw in Las Vegas, commenting "there was too much similaities between the two."
I have also seen Las Vegas casinos demolished, but only on TV. I remembering them blowing out the supports on the bottom floor and letting the upper floors all cave in at once. However, I've never seen anyone destroy a casino by collapsing the top floors to create a huge ball of smoke and fire that rides all the way down the building. And I don't recall ever seeing a wall of black smoke fill the surrounding streets after the building was down. And I dont think I've ever heard of a casino demolition reported to be burning days after the event.
But those are quibbles. Willie's got a sharp mind. And if that's how he remembers the way casinos are destroyed in Las Vegas, I'll have to defer to him.
At 2:35 minutes in (-7:15), My Boy Alex Jones throws out a tantalizing bit of red meat about one Lt. Col Steve Butler going public to tell the people that "we trained these people (the 9/11 hijackers), the government's involved" but "they" start "court-marshalling him (Butler) until he agreed to shut up." My Boy Alex Jones is, I can only assume, referring to the guy who wrote this leter to the editor that caused a minor kerfuffle way back in 2002. Key Quote:
Of course President Bush knew about the impending attacks on America. He did nothing to warn the American people because he needed this war on terrorism. His daddy had Saddam and he needed Osama.
I don't see anywhere in Butler's letter anything that comes close to saying "we trained" the hijackers or that "the government's involved." At worst, he's claiming that Bush just knew what the terrorists were up to and chose to do nothing.
As far as Butler being court-marshalled, that had to do with Section 888. Article 88. in the Uniform Code of Military Justice:
Any commissioned officer who uses contemptuous words against the President, the Vice President, Congress, the Secretary of Defense, the Secretary of a military department, the Secretary of Homeland Security, or the Governor or legislature of any State, Territory, Commonwealth, or possession in which he is on duty or present shall be punished as a court-martial may direct.
Butler ran afoul of the UCMJ when he wrote this part of his letter:
Face it people, Bill Clinton was a great president. This guy is a joke. What is sleazy and contemptible is the President of the United States not telling the American people what he knows for political gain. The Democrats asking pertinent questions is their duty as public servants.
So a lieutenent colonel is reprimanded for publishing a partisan attack on a sitting president. I can understand why My Boy Alex Jones is concerned about this facist crackdown by the government. And I can doubly understand why My Boy would be intrigued by Butler's claims that "we trained these people, the government's involved" even despite the fact that this is only something My Boy Alex Jones just made up and not something Butler actually said.
Or as Willie Nelson puts it, "True story, I guess. I hate to hear it, but it's probably true."
Finally, at 3:00 minutes in (-6:50), My Boy Alex Jones plugs a couple of his videos; Terrorstorm and Endgame. Here is the trailer for Endgame:
Even if you don't have time to watch the Willie Nelson interview, I urge you to watch this trailer and marvel at My Boy Alex Jones, the master at work, as he stuffs 50 lbs of crazy in a 10 lb sack.
Or, to quote Willie Nelson's take on videos like Endgame, "I think they're right on!"
SECRET BONUS!
If you have the free time to listen to the Willie Nelson interview all the way to the 6:00 minute point (-3:51), you get to hear My Boy Alex Jones toss out a plug for presidential candidate congressman Ron Paul!
According to This Story, researchers exploring a remote Indonesian jungle have found a new species of mammal: giant rats! They are five times bigger than normal rats, and they have no apparant fear of humans! Huzzah!
I find it strange. In comic books, video games, and movies, whenever explorers in uncharted territory come across giant rats, the logical response is to try to kill the giant rats. This does not seem like such a difficult concept to me. In fact, given that a giant rat is very likely to be evil, killing them on sight seems like the obvious thing.
And yet, in the real world, when real-live people meet real-live giant rats, they just pick them up and pose for pictures with them:
What is wrong with you researchers? Haven't you ever played Dungeons & Dragons?
Scientists are cloning these babies as you read this. Because--Lord knows--we just don't have nearly enough glow-in-the-dark cats to meet the demanding glow-in-the-dark cat needs of our modern, fast-paced world.
The Busch Special Edition Hunting Package is pretty much the best idea I've ever heard of.
See how the box is camouflaged with leaves? Just like the SPS camo stock on a Remington Model 700 SP Buckmasters Edition! Finally, a suitcase of beer that you are clearly intended to take with you on hunting trips!
This is perfect for me. I can't think of anything else I'd need in a deer blind besides a loaded hunting rifle and exactly twenty-four beers.
Looks like we're not going to need those satellite photos for Bigfoot proof after all.
Lindsay Lemmon and Austin McGee, two men driving through New Mexico have shot VIDEO PROOF of the Bigfoot's existence.
I put "VIDEO PROOF" in a hyperlink, but unfortunately, the link does not take you to the actual video. Nor does the article I link to show even any still frames from the video since Lemmon and McGee don't want to release the footage until they've copyrighted it. However, the article quotes the men making a convincing case that they think their video is genuine.
It also quotes the technician who transferred the video to a DVD saying the figure in the footage "could be a horse."
So you never know how this story is going to play out, but I'll be keeping my eye on it.
Who can't get enough of Bigfoot in the news? Certainly not me! I love that guy! But sadly, since the folding of Weekly World News, my primary source for Bigfoot updates has dried up. So it's now a rare and special occasion when I find an article like this: Satellite Searches Could Spot Bigfoot, Loch Ness Monster.
I can't imagine a better use of our technological resources.
Sometimes maintaining a semi-weekly updated blog just doesn't seem worth the effort. Sometimes I just need something incredible to get my rear in gear so that I can find the motivation to post. Something like these bad boys: Yes it's time for ANOTHER STORY in the ongoing saga of the Pacific Coast Humboldt Squid Infestation! Today's gripping episode, Voracious Jumbo Squid Invade California .
They're coming, and they want our hake! According to the story, "Since their return, scientists have noted a corresponding drop in the population of Pacific hake, a whitefish the squid feeds on that is often used in fish sticks..." Stanford University researcher Louis Zeidberg is quoted as saying, "As they've come and gone, the hake have dropped off... We're just beginning to figure out how the pieces fit together, but this is most likely going to shake things up."
Shake things up indeed! If the Humbolt squids are not stopped and stopped soon, they may deplete our national supply of fish sticks. From there, it will only be a matter of time before they move on to our chicken nuggets.
