A Classic Tale of the Wise Old Master

There is a legend that is still told in our villages today of the remarkable inner peace and wisdom of the Wise Old Master.

It seems that one day, the Rash Young Student approached the Wise Old Master and said, "I have heard it said that there is no better player of video games than you in all the land."

The Wise Old Master said, "That is so."

So the Rash Young Student said, "Then you must train me. I wish to become as skilled as you in the art of playing video games."

So the Wise Old Master said, "Why should I waste my teaching on a young imbecile such as yourself? You young people have no patience for video games. You will attend to a video game for five minutes and then grow bored. The next moment, you will be outside, playing like a moron in the sunshine, neglecting your video game console."

"No, not I," cried the Rash Young Student. "I promise to take video games very seriously if you will only teach me!"

So the Wise Old Master was moved to teach the Rash Young Student, though he was uncertain that the student had the mettle to endure his rigorous training.

Now one day, it came to be that while the Wise Old Master was teaching the Rash Young Student, their village came under attack by the mighty armies of Rodan.

Outside the walls, the Rash Young Student could hear the clash of arms and the cries of the wounded. He grew pale, but the Wise Old Master knelt at his place, with utter calm and focus on the video game he was playing, as though nothing was wrong at all.

The fighting grew louder, and the Rash Young Student quailed. He could hear the whiz of arrows now, and he nearly dropped his video game controller when stray arrows shot through the paper walls and thatched roof of the Wise Old Master's video game classroom.

"Perhaps we should stop playing video games for the day, Master," the Rash Young Student pleaded.

"Just as I thought," said the Wise Old Master. "You have grown tired of video games and now wish to go outside and play like a moron in the sunshine, while the video game console sits here gathering dust." As he said this, an arrow shot through the paper wall and flew so near the Wise Old Master's head that it sheared off a few of his snow white hairs, but the Wise Old Master was still completely calm as though there was no danger at all, and he continued to play the video game.

"Please, Master!" The Rash Young Student was frantic now. "I wish to learn to play video games as much as ever, but the village is under attack! We must flee if we are to escape the deadly swords and arrows of Rodan's mighty army!"

The Wise Old Master paused the video game and turned to the Rash Young Student. "Rodan's army may be powerful. Rodan's swords may cut down our soldiers, and Rodan's arrows may slay our citizens. Rodan may have the might to burn our cities to the ground and shatter our nation. But there is one thing that Rodan can never defeat or erase and that is our high scores in video games. If death is come to us today, let him find us engaged in worthwhile activity. Today, you shall learn the true spirit of our culture."

Then the Wise Old Master unpaused the video game and continued to play.

A Tale of the Wise Old Master

There is a story that they tell of the Wise Old Master.

It seems that he was approached one day by the Rash Young Student. “I grow impatient with learning basic forms and drills and fundamental skills,” the Rash Young Student said. “When will I ever get to do something interesting? When will I get to learn how to have super-powers?”

“Such a moron,” chuckled the Wise Old Master gently. “To wield super-powers, one must first gain wisdom.”

“Wisdom? Fah!” cried the Rash Young Student. “What need have I for wisdom when I can have super-powers?”

The Wise Old Master held up one finger and said, “With wisdom comes the knowledge that super-powers are no blessing but instead a curse.”

“I have no patience for such idle prattle, old man!” cried the Rash Young Student. “Teach me super-powers immediately and I shall show you how they are no curse! Once I have super-powers, I can defeat any enemy!”

“Very well, young cretin,” laughed the Wise Old Master softly. “Which super-power would you like to learn?”

“I should learn to become invisible. Then I shall defeat any opponent simply by walking up to him that I may strike him at my leisure!”

So the Wise Old Master revealed to the Rash Young Student the secret of making ones self invisible. After much instruction, it was time for the Rash Young Student to test his new ability.

“I will stand here,” said the Wise Old Master. “You will make yourself invisible and try to attack me if you can.”

“This will be child’s play!” shouted the Rash Young Student for joy. “You will not be able to see me, old man, and I shall strike you at my leisure!”

The Rash Young Student then turned himself invisible, but immediately he realized something was wrong. He was blind! “Help! Help! I cannot see!” he shouted!

“Of course you cannot see, young imbecile,” chuckled the Wise Old Master sagely. “How can you see when you are invisible? Did you expect your eyes to work even when light merely passes through your retinas?”

“Tricks! Tricks and deceit, old man!” cried the Rash Young Student. “I, who would strike you at my leisure, now cannot even see you!”

“Nor can I see you,” chuckled the Wise Old Master softly. “Yet you shout and flail about so that it is no difficult task for me to know by hearing exactly where you are.” And thus the Wise Old Master threw a roundhouse punch that sent the Rash Young Student reeling.

Then he took the Rash Young Student to the ground by sweeping the leg.

If only we could all be as wise as the Wise Old Master!

Heed the Words of the Wise Old Master this Memorial Day

I was reminded recently of a story of the Wise Old Master. It seemed appropriate on this day (of all days!)

The Wise Old Master summoned the Impatient Young Pupil before him and challenged him with a riddle.

"Can you tell me," said the Wise Old Master, "which comes first, four or five?"

"That's easy," declared the Impatient Young Pupil defiantly. "Four comes first. Five comes after four."

"No, no." chuckled the Wise Old Master softly. "Such idiocy is hardly surprising in one so young and impatient as yourself. Five, not four, comes first."

"Impossible!" cried the Impatient Young Pupil furiously. "One, two, three, four, five! See here." The Impatient Young Pupil began counting off on his fingers. "One comes before two. Two comes before three. Three comes before four. and four comes before five."

"So stupid," gently chuckled the the Wise Old Master. "Now the error of your ways is made apparent."

"What do you mean?" said the Impatient Young Pupil hotly.

"Simply this," said the Wise Old Master. "Five comes before four when you are counting in alphabetical order."

The Wise Old Master is always right, no matter what. You, on the other hand, are always wrong.

So don't mess with the Wise Old Master.