I Bought a House Cheap!

Well, I closed the deal on Monday, so now I've got myself some classy new digs to hang my hat. I love shopping for a house in this buyer's market. I was able to buy a sweet new construction with three-and-a-half baths for a song!

I was surprised. When I began my house hunt a month ago, I thought my best chance at a deal is to snag one of those foreclosed homes you hear about in the news. All you have to do is find a family who's hit some hard times and buy their house from the bank with pennies on the dollar. Then you move right in as the newly homeless family squats on the curb, wailing their predicament and piteously pleading, "Father, father, whither shall we live? Whatever shall we sup?"

But no foreclosures for me. So in order to have the satisfaction of scoring a foreclosure deal, I've actually had to hire a family of actors to squat on my curb and maintain the pretense that I am a heartless capitalist who has cast them out of their home. And it's a good thing I got a deal on my house, 'cause these acting families don't come cheap.

But I guess that's the complaint of every new homeowner; it's always with the hidden costs that they get you.