Republican Presidential Candidates Hold Second Debate

The Republicans held their second primary debate last Tuesday. I found it to be one of the more riveting and intelligent things I've seen on T.V., but that's because I wasn't actually watching the debates. House was airing at the same time and we watched that instead.

When House was over, we changed the channel over to Fox News to watch the last half-hour debate out of sheer curiosity over what it would look like if ten chumps were given two minute intervals to say the words "Ronald Reagan" as many times as they possibly could in a sentence. So I was in time to see what was, apparantly, the only thing worth watching in the entire debate: Rudy Guiliani showing the true definition of bravery and courage by standing up to longshot fourth-tier candidate Ron Paul. Huzzah! Guiliani scored wild applause though it's not exactly clear what he accomplished by slapping down a guy who had little to no chance of ever getting the nomination.

I don't want to vote for any of these guys, and I'm not going to vote for any the Democrats.

Perhaps it's finally time for me to consider becoming a third party voter. And fortunately for me, I've got just the third party in mind! Ladies and gentlemen, buckle your seatbelts because I'm signing y'all up for THE AMERICAN FACSIST PARTY!

I've searched high and low, but never have I found such a band of stalwart hearts so earnest to concieve themselves to be amible populists and nationalists and then march themselves proudly under the banner of Fascism. Truly refreshing!

Their website's worth a gander. Check out their online Fascist Music Player, featuring music from Fascist Spain and Italy. My favorite is "Himno Hispano," (skip ahead five tracks on the player) a rockin' little ditty sure to make anyone nostalgic for Franco's Spain.

While you're there, also be sure to check out their Party Platform, a 23 page manifesto printed out on html (!) format! It's a corker! I'd link you directly to the web page, except it's a screwy html formated page and whatever link I put up here seems to take you back to the homepage by default. Here's an excerpt:

Theory The task of creating an all-encompassing ideology is of course, a daunting one; and though I do not want to underestimate the importance of having a document that blah blah blah blah snore zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz…

Okay. Admittedly, I haven’t actually read much more than to skim the first two paragraphs. But the second paragraph is the one that has me really excited about this party:

The Fascist Goal Fascism is a political ideology. At this very statement most agreement over what Fascism actually is begins to come apart, and there has been no end to the discussion on the theory and practice of Fascism since the initial use of the word itself.

In other words, there are no actual set parameters as to what can and cannot be called “Fascism.” It's not like Communism where there is an actual book that states what Communism is. With Fascism, you can just think up just about any screwball nationalistic political idea you want and call it “Fascism.”

For the most part, focus has been leveled, and remains on the practice of the regimes to which the ideology has been historically affixed, including, but not limited to Germany, Italy, Spain, Romania, Argentina, even Japan, among others. In addition to criticism of the methods of these regimes, the title of “Fascism” has been variously used in conjunction with political attacks in this country against any number of politicians, ideas and civil groups exhibiting a generally socially conservative nature.

Here we get to the meat of the problem. A lot of people assume that, just because they didn’t like Fascist Germany, Fascist Italy, Fascist Spain, Fascist Romania, Fascist Argentina, or Fascist Japan, they would also not like Fascist America. People are funny that way.

Indeed the ultimate end of the current true Fascist ideologues has been to wrest the word back from misappropriation by the public. This takes the form of trying to defend against the perceptions of the public that the Fascist is a thug, a tyrant, a racist, or all of the above.

The ultimate end! Making people stop having negative connotations with the word “Fascism”!

It’s sort of like if someone started a political party and said, “We don’t really have to call ourselves the ‘Everybody Gets Lupus Party,’ but we’re going to call ourselves that anyway. Our primary aim is to change the public’s negative perception of the phrase “Everybody Gets Lupus.” We want to wrest that phrase from those who would misuse it to describe a situation of an entire population succumbing to a chronic autoimmune disease.

Most people would save themselves the bother and just call themselves something with an upbeat name like "Popular Nationalist Party" or "National Populist Party." But the guys over at americanfascistparty.com are not "most people." By golly, they’re gonna insist on being called Fascists and nuts to the first person who says that’s a bad thing!

I like their style!

Maybe sometime later on I’ll read more of their Party Platform and see what they actually believe in besides that “Fascist” shouldn’t be a negative term.

Until then, Fascism Forward!