Part Squid, Part Octopus, All Cop

I’m sure those of you who scan the headlines on the Drudge Report regularly saw THIS ONE last week about the discovery of the so-called “octo-squid” found in a Hawaiian deep-sea pipeline filter. “Hoo boy!” I’ll bet you said. “A new species of squid! You know who loves squid? Good ol’ Uncle Steak! I bet he’s gonna be all over this story like stink on hippies!”

And then, as last week wore on, you were probably getting’ all antsy, saying, “What’s going on? Uncle Steak isn’t posting about the octo-squid! Did he miss this story? Octo-squid’s got all the advantages of an octopus combined with the squid’s natural superiority! Uncle Steak simply must post about this immediately!”

Okay, okay. Don’t get your hodoggles in a knot. Uncle Steak is well on top of the situation. Yes, there was a newly discovered species of squid that shared attributes of the octopus announced last week Here he is:
You know how I'm always keeping up with all the new developments on the squid front, so don't you go thinking I dropped the ball on the octo-squid by waiting a whole week before bloggin' up AN ARTICLE or two about it. Honestly, the reason why I haven’t yet posted about the octo-squid is because I’m just not that much excited about it. The truth is, a combination octopus-squid is just not as cool as you think it would be.

Squids have a mantle protecting its head. That’s what gives it that vague similarity to a mushroom cap. The squid also has eight arms and, usually, two additional tentacles. The octopus, on the other hand, have no mantle, just a fleshy, bulbous head. He has eight arms only and no tentacles.

So the octo-squid is simply a mollusk with a squid head and eight octopus arms. In other words, it is a squid that lacks the squid’s two additional tentacles. That’s hardly an advantage. On the other hand, he is kinda cute:
But it's not as though this is the first time we’ve seen a squid head on octopus arms. The Vampyroteuthis infernalis (literal transtlation: Vampire Squid from Hell . I kid you not.) is a member of the cephlapod family that also sports the squid's mantled head on top of the eight octopus arms. However, the Vampire Squid from Hell is infinitely cooler than the octo-squid. Check this bad boy out (click on image to enlarge):
If you have children, and those children have been very good, you should reward them by having a life-sized blow-up picture made of the Vampire Squid from Hell so that you can wallpaper their bedroom walls. Kids love the Vampire Squid from Hell. Heck, everyone loves the Vampire Squid from Hell. It’s got wicked cool webbing between its arms like a bat-cape, and its body is covered with photophores, light producing organs that allow him to disorient his enemies with bright flashes.

Move over, Liger! Vampyroteuthis infernalis. Is on the fast track to topping the short list of the very best animal ever!